The Regrets of Severus Snape
by ChuckingDaffodils
Summary: Out of all the things that Severus seems to have done in his life, one stands out as his biggest regret. But with the aid of an unexpected visitor, he may just be able to fix his biggest regret. Rated 'T' to be safe.
1. Chapter I

The weather was much too bitter to occur in the middle of summer. Wind blew throughout many small cities in the Northern part of Great Britain: some cases found the storms to be much too strong against the decaying foundations of the houses, and many residents opted for an impromptu vacation in the South.

This is why many brick houses along Spinner's End sat alone, not a single source of life emerging from behind thick yellow curtains, or from the backyard.

Even the chimney from the mill, which was a prominent feature in the town's landscape, had not issued a single cloud of dust or pollution for several weeks.

In fact, if one were to take a mid-afternoon stroll down Spinner's End, all the way to the river that served as a border for the town, one would be quite right to assume that this town had been empty for several years.

That is unless, of course, one would take into account Severus Snape.

But no one ever does.

Severus Snape, of Number 922, had inherited the house of his parents after his father left, and his mother passed on. The house rarely received any cleaning, as a young man left alone in a house definitely has other things to do before he begins to tidy up.

Severus rarely emerged from the house: the few times he did, mothers would urge their children to turn the other direction: many residents even saw an appearance by Severus Snape as a threat of the neighborhood pedophile, and would shut their curtains and lock the doors.

This did nothing to stunt the children's fascination with him, though: a multitude of rumors had been spread from child to child like cooties on the playground. Many children believed that 'Old Man Snape' failed to come from his house because of his 'terrible murderous past, that forced him to keep locked up in his house': while other children saw Snape's dark and pale appearance as evidence of his vampirism, and that going too near to Number 922 will have you sucked into his vampire clutches, only to never emerge.

But Severus was not the neighborhood pedophile. He was not a former serial killer. And he most certainly was not a vampire. Severus Snape was simply a quiet young man, age twenty, who did not care for the company of strangers, or for that of Muggles. He preferred to sit alone in his house all day, reading books from the impressive library in the sitting room.

Occasionally, if the urge struck him, Severus would emerge from his house at around twilight. He would then walk towards the woods, and the river that sat before them. Very rarely did he see anyone else out for a walk: this was especially true now, as the entire population of Spinner's End, if not of the Mill Town itself, had evacuated, leaving Severus as the temporary sole resident.

Which was how he preferred it.

The wind carried various items of trash across the cobblestone: if it wasn't for the heavy rain, the wind surely would have been able to carry the trash higher above the ground.

But it was how it was, and so Severus nearly lost his balance several times because of the trash on the ground. The strong gusts whipped back his dark greasy hair, while the rain hit his body with strong force.

Anyone with much sense and no purpose would have turned back and headed home, but Severus had little sense at the moment, and much purpose.

As he came nearer to the woods, he passed a small playground. The swing set had fallen into ruins, with one seat detached entirely. The monkey bars had been bent, and the slide was beginning to decay as a sign that several years had gone by without so much as the second glance of a child: when the new playground was put up eight summers ago, no child bothered to come back to this playground. Severus still tried to visit while on his evening walks. He looked over his shoulder at a clump of overgrown bushes. He paused for a moment, looking back over at the swing set.

He smirked slightly to himself as he turned back to his home: tears stinging his eyes, though he'd believe it to be rain.

Severus returned to his house in no time at all. Closing the door tightly behind him, he tossed his cloak onto a wooden chair near the armchair in the den. Severus picked up his book from the armrest where he had left it, and continued to read.

It was quite a heavy book, on the history of pure-blood wizards in England, and also quite dull. Not soon after resuming to read, Severus closed the book and placed it on the small coffee table. Lifting himself from the armchair, Severus proceeded to search for a book from the shelves that lined the walls.

On the third shelf from the top sat the book that he chose: notably thinner than _Pure-Bloods of Great Britain_, but nevertheless impossible to finish in one sitting. Severus summoned the book with an _'Accio'_, and soon he was back in the armchair, and opening a rather old copy of _Dreadful Demziens of the Deep._

Severus began to thumb through the yellowed pages, disappointment mounting as he realized it was just another donated book from a deceased wizard friend of his mother's. He was about to close the book when a photo fell from somewhere between page 320 and 394.

Severus picked up the photograph, intrigued. It was the first photograph he had ever seen present in his home.

In the photograph, a bright young girl waved cheerfully to the camera, while a sallow, hook-nosed boy hung back. His face was covered by greasy black curtains that was his hair, while the girl's hair was pulled back into two neat pigtails. Both were wearing robes, jumpers, and a striped tie: the girl wore a skirt, while the boy wore trousers. Though the picture was black-and-white, Severus knew that the girl's tie was red and gold, while the boy's was green and silver.

He held the photo steadily, four inches from the tip of of his nose. He did not pay much attention to his younger self: instead, he studied the beautiful girl who sat closest to the camera.

She still waved energetically: with every move of her hand, her eyes continued to sparkle, and with every sparkle in her eye, Severus felt his heart soar. What he wouldn't do to still be able to see that woman daily. But he hadn't seen her for three years: Wizard God knows where she was now, or what she was doing.

If only he could go back in time, and take back his offensive slur. Maybe she'd forgotten about it: he should drop by to say 'Hello'.

"You know, she and James Potter just had a baby boy."


	2. Chapter II

Severus lowered the photo and looked around the room.

"Who goes there?' he asked. No one seemed to be at the fireplace, or at the back door.

He stood up as the bodiless voice began to chuckle. He drew out his wand and said:

'_Homenum Revelio_'

No body appeared, yet the voice kept on chuckling. Severus realized that the voice sounded like that of a younger girl, and was most likely not much of a threat. But he was still a very personal man, and would prefer to have known that a young woman had entered his house.

"They named the boy 'Harry'."

Severus looked to where the voice seemed to be coming from. It seemed like it came from one of the books on the fourth shelf from the top, and second row over from the front door.

" 'Harry - Potter?' " Severus spewed.

He acted as though he did not care: in order for him to find the voice, he needed it to keep talking: but used this as a clever guise to mask his feelings of hurt, and of worthlessness. He was not aware that she had married James: and he was not aware that she was a mother.

Severus always thought that she would make an excellent mother: although, when he first thought this, he was 14, and pictured himself as the father instead of the arrogant James Potter.

" Yes, Harry Potter. Not a very uncommon name, is it? You see, if it were I who named him, I would have gone with something a bit more clever. But this is coming from the girl who wouldn't minding her future sons after her future husband: we'll have Andy Clark Jr, Andy Clark Jr II… well, you get the idea."

The voice had rambled on long enough for Snape to find its source. The voice seemed to be coming from…

A red book, with little notable features. The book didn't even seem to have a title. The cover was blank, along with every page inside the book. Except for page 204.

The sight of a teenage girl's face inside a book that most certainly had been printed before she was even thought of, is truthfully an alarming sight. Any normal man would have jumped at the very idea. However, Severus Snape was not the sort of man who'd cower away from oddities: he was a wizard, and had come to expect the unexpected in the strangest of times.

"Are you the voice who told me about Lily's son?' Severus asked the face in the book. The face smiled broadly and nodded.

"Then what, pray tell, are you doing in my book?' he continued, with the severity and air of a bad-tempered professor. He held the book in both hands, his arms sagging slightly with the weight.

"Well,' spoke the illustration. ' I'm not so sure. I'm not even in a book: I'm sitting at my family's computer."

And, as if she were reading Severus' mind, she finished:

"A computer is like a large photograph that Muggles use for many tasks, like playing games or writing essays."

Her use of the word "Muggle" caught Severus' attention. Only a wizard would know the name for non-magic folk, yet why would this witch be using a Muggle device?

"How- You know the word 'Muggle'?" Severus asked, trying his best to cover his curiosity and intimidation. The girl gave him a dubious look.

"Uh, yeah, I just said it.' The way she ejected her words downsized Severus emotionally. Thankfully, the face did not hold the judgmental expression long: her next phrase consisted of her expressing her knowledge of Severus' love for Lily.

"I know of your love for Lily, Severus." expressed the illustration of the girl. "And I know that you are feeling terrible that she's gotten married, and that she will never love you."

Severus scowled: his thoughts and inner emotions were personal, and this spirit in the book had no right to expose everything vocally.

"Listen, I understand that your thoughts and emotions are personal, but trust me, I'm not about to go and spill everything about you."

Severus could not speak: he simply stood, peering into the face of the girl, his mouth slightly agape. Words would not come to him: no words, except for:

"How did you know that?"

The girl rolled her eyes: Severus clenched his fist to suppress the anger and annoyance that came from the girl's ignorance. Here she was, a girl no more than fourteen, six years younger than he, and she was acting as if she was his superior. This, Severus could not tolerate.

"Because, Snape, I - Well, I can't really explain it, because I doubt you'll believe me, but I'll just say that I know what's going on under your greasy scalp."

Severus stood still, mouth agape once more. Had she just insulted his intelligence and his hygiene? Again, she treated him as if he were an eight year old child, and he did not matter.

Fist still clenched, Severus attempted to test the girl's apparent power.

"Fine,' he said, teeth clenching. 'If you can really read my thoughts and emotions, tell me, girl, what is my greatest w- greatest fear?"

"Your greatest fear is ever having your deepest secrets and thoughts become exposed - you're a very personal person.' The illustration's face was deadpan, and she recited her answer as though she were reading it from a book. Before Severus could respond, she continued:

'And your greatest wish, Severus,' Her voice was still mostly deadpan, though the way she said this was a bit mischievous. Her illustration in the book was sketched in ink, but her eyes began to twinkle in delight. 'Is to return to your fifth year at Hogwarts, so you can return to the moment that you have regretted for five years."

Severus, who now sat in the armchair, his legs too weak with anger and confusion at this strange girl, simply looked at the face on page 204.

He did not say a word in response: how could he? The girl had described his worst fear as well as he ever could.

What's more, she had taken his accidental vocal slip, and provided him the details of his greatest wish.

Severus was suddenly in awe of what she had done, and what she could do, and there was no way he could respond. As he studied her face, he reasoned that her extraordinary power was simply due to her being a strong Legilimens. However, Severus was sure she was a Muggle, as she had mentioned sitting at her family's 'computer': There was no way she could be a squib, as squibs very rarely could perform even the simplest of magic tricks.

"I'm not a squib." she announced after several moments of silence: she sounded rather upset that Severus had ever thought to classify her as such. He jumped in his chair, both at the sound of her voice after the silent pause, and at the realization that he had read her mind.

"Well, what are you, then?" Severus was quickly becoming exasperated with this girl. He wanted nothing more than for her to either leave, or to reveal her secret.

"I told you, you won't understand." she answered in a similar exasperated voice, which was much too similar to his own than he felt comfortable with.

"Now, do you want to fix you greatest regret, or not?"

Her tone was far too conversational, and did not match what she was saying. It was as if she announced in a mournful voice that her Mother had baked her favorite type of cookies and had allowed her to eat as many as she pleased.

Her voice was so calm, in fact, that Severus had to repeat what she said before he noticed what she said.

"I- I'm sorry? Are you suggesting I go back in time?" What an absurd proposition.

Severus had already thought of traveling back in time to re-do the moment, but time travel was highly impossible. Not only was it dangerous, as any change could fracture the Time Space Continuum, and change life in the present day, but it was also very difficult to find an apparatus to use to travel in time. Time Turners, if they did exist, would most likely be heavily guarded by the Ministry of Magic, and all use would be restricted to that of Ministry personnel only.

With all this in mind, Severus spoke again:

"When do we leave?"

* * *

A/N: Thanks to those of you who have reviewed and added this story to your alert list. SnapexLily is one of my favorite pairings in the books. I'm presuming that there are several dozen other fanfictions on this website that have Snape wanting to go back in time to reverse his insult. What makes my story different though, is that I will be adding smaller segments here and there that detail the relationship of another couple in the Harry Potter fandom. That's not to say that Snape and Lily will be demoted to extra as the story goes on, though.

Thanks a lot for reading my story. Feel free to add me to your Alert list, or to write a review.


	3. Chapter III

"When do you want to leave?"

Severus blinked in bewilderment: What a stupid question. _When do you want to leave? _ When do you want to leave to change the outcome to an event that could very possibly change the outcome of your life, Severus?

"Perhaps we'll wait for the passports to arrive via mail." Severus replied sarcastically. The illustration drew her eyebrows up in surprise.

"Really?' she responded sincerely. 'I sincerley thought that you'd want to go as soon as possibl- Oh, I forgot. You're known for your sarcasm, aren't you?"

Severus was stunned at both the ignorance and at the supernatural features of this girl. Nevertheless, he overcame his curiosity and shock within the next moment, and replied:

"Yes, I'd like to go, thanks."

"Well, hang on, then." she responded.

It was a spectacular sensation: it was as if his entire body was being splinched. Severus looked down at his feet, and nearly dropped the book. He was slowly apparating, from the bottom to top. And in no time, Severus Snape had disappeared entirely from his home on Spinner's End.

Four years earlier, in a sunny courtyard at an elusive school in Scotland, a sallow teenager was appearing just as he had disappeared from his home at age 20. Once fully present, and fully aware of his new surroundings, he looked down at himself. He was still dressed in black robes: like the ones on his young adult self, these robes were buttoned to the chin, despite the intense early summer heat.

The red book lay open at his side: he knew that it was the book, for it lacked any cover decoration. However, page 204 no longer had an ink sketch of the face of a young girl. Instead, complicated instructions and diagrams on the transformation of werewolves took her face's place. Unexplained worry filled Severus' 15 year old body.

"Are you still there?"

"Yes, I am.' said the tiny visage of the fully transformed werewolf on page 205. 'I think as long as you keep whatever I am with you, you should be okay. Otherwise, you cou-"

Severus shut the book tight. Was that red haired girl Lily Evans? No, it was some angry Hufflepuff boy. But the four approaching assholes were who Severus suspected they were.

It was then that it occurred to Severus that he may want to leave before they got any closer. He collected the O.W.L. papers scattered around him, and pushed them hastily into his book bag. But Severus was not fast enough.

"All right, Snivellus?' said James Potter loudly. Behind him were his usual flunkies: Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew.

Severus' initial reaction came so quickly that in moments he had pulled out his wand from inside of his robes: the hatred and loathing that came with the knowledge that this was the father of Lily Evans' first child only filled Severus with intense amounts of rage that masked any possible guilt that would come with James' inevitable murder.

However, James was too wand was already out before Severus': with a lazy wave, he disarmed the opponent.

Severus watched his wand fly twelve feet into the air and land with a _thud_ in the grass behind him. He whipped his head around when James' right hand man barked with laughter.

Glaring, Severus dove towards his wand.

But James was quick again, and knocked Severus off his feet with "_Impedimenta!_"

A crowd of students had gathered to watch the action. Though some looked apprehensive, many of them looked thoroughly entertained.

Severus struggled on the ground. Out of breath, he panted, watching as both James and Sirius approached with their wands raised: James turning his head now and then to look at some girls by the lake's edge. Pettigrew, still a good distance away from the action, was edging around Lupin for a better view.

"How'd the exam go, Snivelly?" said James. Severus frowned at the pair, and didn't say a word, mainly because this event had happened almost five years ago, and he could no longer remember the process of his O.W.L. exams.

"I was watching him, his nose was touching the parchment,' said Sirius viciously. 'There'll be great grease marks all over it, they won't be able to read a word."

Several people watching laughed: Pettigrew was among them, his sniggers shrill and highly distinguishable. Severus struggled harder to get up: if he could not use magic to kill Potter, he'd use brute force. The spell, however, seemed to be siding with James, and refused to let Severus move.

"You - wait,' panted Severus. He looked at James with deep loathing, both from the constant reminders that he had won Lily's heart instead of Severus, and with the memories of all the teasing that Severus had endured for seven years, brought alive by this attack. 'you - wait!"

"Wait for what?' Sirius answered coolly. 'What're you going to do, Snivelly, wipe your nose on us?"

All hexes and all the curse words that came to Severus in that moment flowed from his mouth: as he had yet to perfect the art of wandless magic, and as he was not in the recommended state of mind, all that came out were obscenities and powerless hexes.

"Wash out your mouth,' James scolded coldly. '_Scourgify!_"

That particular incident had haunted Severus several times since it happened in his fifth year. The pink soap that cleaned his mouth tasted terrible, and frothed easily. Severus could feel the foam dripping from his mouth, and into his throat. His throat swelled, and he coughed, desperate for air… What a mistake to come back in time, to relive the worst moments of his life. It was almost not worth the pain and humiliation of his school years. That was, until, she arrived.

"Leave him ALONE!"

A/N: Thanks again to those who have read and commented on the past two chapters. I understand that the past three chapters have focused solely on SnapexLily, but I am planning on devoting other chapters on other relationships of characters in the novel that didn't happen. The chapters would not be big lipped alligator moment's, so they will have importance to the plot and or story. I may even name them differently so that you can feel free to skip ahead to the following chapter. What I'm saying is, please leave your opinions in the reviews, or send me a personal message.


	4. Chapter IV

James, Sirius and Severus all turned. Severus wiped his mouth with the back of his sleeve quickly, and swallowed the remaining soap to clear his mouth.

The girl was coming up from the lake's edge, her thick, dark red hair bouncing at her shoulders, every hair in place: which was odd, considering how quickly she was approaching. Her startlingly green, almond-shaped eyes were crinkled slightly in anger: Severus fully expected her to be angry at him, as she would never be upset at her dear husband: but to his full relief, Severus remembered that this was five years ago, and he and Lily were still friends.

"All right, Evans?' James' voice was suddenly deeper, pleasant and mature. The hatred inside of Severus continued to build up: _Lily, _he thought, _don't believe him! It's all a facade!_

But of course, Lily couldn't hear him speaking inside his head.

"Leave him alone,' Lily repeated. To Severus' great relief, her green eyes seemed to be looking at James with every ounce of hate that her beautiful mind could hold. 'What's he done to you?"

"Well,' said James. 'It's more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean… "

Again, several onlookers chuckled at James' endless wit. Lily, thankfully, was not one of those people.

"You think you're funny,' Lily shook her head in disgust, still looking upon James with a great amount of loathing. 'But you're just an arrogant, bullying toerag, Potter. Leave him _alone_."

And then one of Severus' worst fears came true. He had hoped that his revisitation would have changed things, but it did not, and so he had to witness the horrific event once more. For Severus had always considered the next eight words had been the event that had caused his life to go in such a decline.

"I will if you go out with me, Evans,' James said quickly. 'Go on … 'go out with me and I'll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again."

If it were possible, Severus would claim that even more hatred had blossomed inside of him, but as he was already past breaking level, it was impossible for him to hate James Potter even more. The Impediment Jinx had now worn off, and Severus took James' distraction with Lily as the time to fetch his wand from the grass below. He inched towards his wand slowly.

"I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid.' said Lily, and Severus felt quite happy about that.

"Bad luck, Prongs,' said Sirius briskly. To Snape, who he noticed had just reached his wand, he cried: 'OI!"

How dare that asshole Potter ask Lily out: she was far too good for him, she needed a sensitive and quiet man instead of an outlandish and arrogant one. With great concentration, Severus remembered a spell that he had invented: "_Sectumsmpra_".

A flash of light revealed that a nice deep, bloody gash appeared at the side of James' face. James whirled, and within mere seconds, Severus was hoisted up in the air, his robes had fallen over top of his head to reveal his pale legs and greying underpants.

He could hear the crowd cheering, and for a second time, he fully regretted allowing the illustration of the girl's face take him back in time. How she did it, he was unaware, but he hoped that she would be able to take him back to the present immediately, to escape the laughter and humiliation.

"Let him down!' demanded Lily. Severus smiled feebly when he remembered that she was still there, sticking up for him. And then he wished for his robes to be covering his legs and underwear again, as the thought of Lily being there made him quite happy.

"Certainly,' said James. In an instant, Severus fell from mid-air to a crumpled heap on the ground. He quickly got on his feet, wand at the ready, but was back on the ground within seconds.

"_Petrificus Totalus!_' Sirius said almost lazily.

It is a curious thing to be petrified. It is as if you are frozen in time, cannot move, yet somehow everybody around you can move and are living normal , laying flat as a board on the grass in the Hogwarts courtyard, could not move, yet he was fully aware of everything that was happening around him.

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!' shouted Lily.

"Ah, Evans, don't make me hex you.' said the deeper, suave voice that normally did not belong to James Potter, but for the time being, it did.

"Take the curse off him, then."

James sighed, then turned to Snape. James muttered the counter-curse, and Severus got up to his feet.

"There you go.' said James. By the sound of his voice, it was evident that nothing had turned out like he had planned. 'You're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus-"

Now Severus, who was in a great rage, remembered what he had said at the initial occurrence of this event, and how it had ruined any chance he had at happiness for the rest of his life. Although it was Lily who had received the insult, it was more directed at James when Severus had said: _I don't need help from filthy Mudbloods like her!_

And although he was very much tempted to repeat the same sentence, he knew how terrible it was to call Lily a 'mudblood': after all, wasn't he there for a second time to fix the event? And so, after a small pause, Severus said:

"Damn right I am."


	5. Chapter V

James' response to this was incredibly out of character. For once, he was speechless.

"I- what?' James seemed stunned beyond all belief that the butt monkey of his endless pranks wasn't finding any humiliation in having a girl stand up for him.

"I said,' Severus was thoroughly unsure as to where this bravery was coming from, but he did appreciate the change. 'I am damn well lucky to have Lily as my friend, somebody kind, courageous and,' Severus cleared his throat, 'beautiful, while I feel sorry for your friends.'

"Because their apparent leader' continued Severus, raising his voice so that the majority of the onlooking crowd could overhear him, 'is a terrible bully, who can only find delight in picking on people different from he, people who are too weak to stand up to him."

Severus was shaking by now. The crowd simply stared at him in bewilderment, and in confusion. This outburst was very much out of character for the 15 year old Severus, and perhaps even for the 20 year old Severus whose soul lived inside his 15 year old body. So Severus hung his head, grabbed his bag and his red book, and headed out of the courtyard.

"What a load of rubbish, that Snivellus.' Sirius shouted loudly. Much of the crowd laughed in agreement.

"You be nice to Severus!' shouted Lily. 'He's never treated you boys as terribly as you treat him!"

Severus, who was pacing in an outdoor corridor, unsure of what to do or where to go, halted in mid-step. Lily wasn't mad at him, as far as he could tell, and he finally felt like it was worth it to have gone back in time. Head hanging low, he grinned as he kept walking. The clock in the clock tower chimed, and Severus knew that it was time for supper.

Supper that night was rather uneventful. Severus sat between Avery and Mulciber, who were quick to notice that he was being unusually quiet that night.

"Got something on your mind, Sev?' asked Mulciber, mouth full of roast chicken.

"Yeah,' continued Avery, in mid swallow of the corn and pean salad. 'Usually you love talking about all 'em effin Mudbloods."

Severus, who was watching Lily talk animatedly to Mary on the other side of the hall, simply muttered. He was not paying any attention at all, and was delighted to see that Potter and his group sat as far away from Lily as humanely possible. Severus watched as James looked over at Lily repeatedly, as he continuously ran his hand through his hair, but got repeatedly shot down with a dirty look from Lily.

"Severus?' Avery nudged Severus with his elbow. 'You sure you're alright?" His tone was as sympathetic as it could be: evidently, he cared for his friend.

Severus' attention pulled away from the Gryffindor table, and he nodded briskly.

"Yeah, 'm fine.' he said curtly. 'Just got something on my mind, that's all."

The weather was still warm after supper, and the setting sun gave off a rather impressive orange hue over the grounds. Many fifth years, Severus included, took advantage of the weather to study for the Transfiguration OWL the next afternoon, or to simply spend time out of the castle.

However, Avery and Mulciber did not like spending time outside, and persisted that Severus come with them down to the dungeons. It took two very powerful, and also illegal, curses to convince the husky and slight boys that Severus had something else to attend to, and that they best be running off. For good measure, Severus also told them that they'd best keep the Dark Magic to themselves, and not use it on anyone else for the time being.

And so, because modifying the mind of two particularly clever wizards takes some time, when Severus arrived to the courtyard, there was not enough room for him to sit by himself. With two books in hand, he chose to sit at a bench in the outdoor corridor: of course, the only free bench was particularly obstructed by a statue of a particularly noble looking wizard.

Not that Severus minded being blocked from view: he needed time to himself to think and to study. Ten minutes later, though, he had grown weary of sitting alone, and thought of going back to the Slytherin Common Room.

As soon as he closed his Transfiguration book, two Gryffindor girls walked by his bench, and sat somewhere nearby: not so close that Severus could see them, but close enough so that he could hear them. To Severus' delight, one of the girls was Lily Evans.

Severus listened as the two discussed classes, then other girls, and finally music. It was getting rather boring for him until James Potter showed up, surprisingly on his own. His hands were tucked in his pockets, and he slouched a bit, obviously still upset and thrown off by Severus' uncharacteristic outburst several hours before.

"Evans,' he said, his voice deeper and more mature than normal. 'Can I talk to you alone?"

"No, you cannot.' Lily replied as if she were talking to her worst enemy. ' Anything you say to me, you can say in front of Mary."

"Fine.' said James, obviously upset with this arrangement. 'I just want to tell you that I accept your apology for standing up for Snivellus this afternoon. So listen, my parents have a cabin up in France, and I'd like to take you-"

"WHAT!' Lily shouted. She must have stood up, because James had taken a step back, and Severus could see his elbow from behind the statue. 'I will never apologize to you, especially when it comes to Severus! He is kind to me, and he respects me, two things that you'll never be able to do yourself. And don't even _think _about asking me out, James Potter, because I will never, _ever_, accept!"

For several moments, both James and Severus held their breath. The latter was feeling quite joyful, especially because it seemed like Lily hated James more than she had before, and that she respected Severus as much as he respected her. Well, perhaps not _as much_, but still, quite a lot.

James, however, could not believe what Lily was saying. Did she truly think _Severus Snape_ was a better person than himself?

In a desperate attempt to impress Lily, James shouted out the one thing that he thought would disgust Lily.

"He fancies you! Severus Snape fancies you, Evans!"

Severus blushed from his listening post, though he was quite sallow and he was never much of a blusher in the first place, so he felt more embarrassed than anything. He held his breath once more, waiting on how Lily would react? Would she believe James? And would she find it so utterly disgusting that she'd end up going out with James, anyways?

"So what if he does?' asked Lily. James was so shocked that his mouth fell open. 'I'd marry Severus before ever thinking twice about you, James."

James attempted to answer in his normal witty manner, but no words could come out. So he stood, huffing and puffing and muttering gibberish, for several moments.

"Go away, Potter.' said Lily. 'Go find your friends, and find some other poor girl to hit on, because I'm done with you."

Severus, on his side of the statue, felt as if he had fell asleep and started dreaming. Lily Evans didn't think he was repulsive! To check, he pinched himself: yes, he was a awake, and yes, he had popped an nerve. But that didn't matter. He came out from behind the statue, put his hands on his hips, and said, while trying to stay on top of his wobbling legs:

"Hey, Potter! The lady said 'Go away'!"

* * *

_**A/N**: Chapter Five! I know that there've been several out-of-character moments up to this point, as I guess you've probably noticed, so please take those in stride. That last line there, is my reference to A Very Potter Musical. Three chapters in 24 hours, I think I'm going to take a break now. But I'll be back with Chapter 6 before the weekend starts!_


	6. Chapter VI

James sniggered at Severus, who felt the blood draining from his face. Nevertheless, this guy was an asshole, whom Severus hated deeply, and he was annoying Lily, who Severus _loved_ deeply. So Severus stood his ground.

"Look at this, then.' James uttered loudly, so that all the other students would know that James Potter was there, and was calling for attention. 'Little, Itty Snivellus, standing up for his little, bitty girlfriend."

Severus furrowed his eyebrow in frustration, with a hand at his waist and the other at his side. Too weak and too scared to shout back, or to cower in fear, he stared stonily ahead. Lily did not move from her seat, and watched the scene with an almost sick fascination.

"What's the matter, Snivell?' James shot, as he started circling Severus. 'Too much of a coward to fight back? What would it take you to fight back?"

Now, Severus knew that this had been intended as a rhetorical question. Rhetorical questions are entirely different from normal questions because when someone asks a normal question, they expect an answer: when someone asks a rhetorical question, they ask it to make a point. The use of a rhetorical question makes the speaker sound more intelligent: at the very least, when used correctly, a rhetorical question can make the speaker seem superior to the listener.

But James did not seem to fully understand the capability nor the purpose of a rhetorical question, as he began to answer his own rhetorical question.

"What if,' he began, pausing in his step. 'Something dreadful were to happen to your school books?"

Severus was still too timid to make any motion in defence of himself, or in defence of his school books for that matter. He stared blankly ahead, blinking nervously, fingers twitching around the wand in his pocket.

Yet Severus did not muster the courage as James raised his own wand, pointed it towards the bench where Severus' books still sat, and set it on fire.

Lily gasped: James laughed maliciously at Severus' lack of emotion.

"What, Sour Grapes Snape _doesn't_ care about his studies?' he mocked. 'Well, what about his precious Evans? What if Snivellus' Mudblood-"

"Don't call her that!' roared Severus, grasping quickly into his robes. He pushed James back fiercely into a stone column, holding his wand to James' throat. James held his hands up mercilessly and eyed Severus' prodding wand.

"Now, Snivellus,' James said cooly, even as he was pinned tightly against the column. 'Let's be reasonable: You-you don't want to do anything _too_ rash, do you?"

Severus squinted in rage, studying Potter's messy black hair. His glasses sat askew, the left eyepiece higher than the right: but, as always, Potter's untidiness made him more appealing. He couldn't honestly kill James Potter: as much of an ass James was, he wasn't worth getting shipped off to Azkaban for.

But still: it was James Potter, the moron who had called Lily Evans a 'Mudblood',

"_Ava_-"

"_Obscuro_!"

In the time it took for Severus to contemplate murder, James had escaped from Severus' clutches, and raised his wand. The latter spell was his: and as a result, a blindfold appeared from nowhere, and wrapped itself around the upper section of Severus' pale face. All exterior light and signs of the outside world were shut out, and Severus was slammed to the ground.

"How- dare- you- steal- Lily- from- me!" growled James between hits. James' angry, deep breathing sped up as he continued to beat up Severus.

"James!' cried Lily. 'What are you _doing _to him! Stop it!"

James did not cease his beating: they became more severe. Severus was drifting in and out of a concussion by that point.

"James!' cried Lily once more. 'Stop hurting him! _Please!_"

James continued, apparently deaf to Lily's desperate pleas.

Tears were budding in her eyes now, wishing nothing more than for James to stop his merciless attacking. With little on her mind, she stepped up to James, pulled him up by the back of his robes, and slapped him hard across the face.

He clutched at his throbbing pink cheek, and looked into Lily's green eyes. There were bloodstains on his knuckles, and his glasses were barely on his face.

"What the hell, Evans?' he muttered. He glanced from Lily, and down to Severus, then back at Lily. 'That was for _him_, wasn't it?"

Lily merely stared back at James with deep anger. James nodded: he knew he was right.

And James left the stone hallway.

Lily wasted no time: once James turned the corner at the other end of the path, she fell to her knees. Placing her hands gently on Severus' shoulders, she realized soon that he was fully unconscious, his thin body battered and bruised.

xxx

"You're welcome to go and visit him, Miss Evans."

Lily nodded graciously to a youthful Mademoiselle Pomfrey as she entered the hospital wing, passing by the other mostly empty beds. There was something about hospitals that made Lily feel insecure: perhaps it was the common cleanliness found in every hospital, or the omnipresent feeling of death that continuously lingered.

Finally, she reached Severus' bed. It had been three days since his attack, and he still looked slightly terrified.

"Good morning, Severus.' she greeted pleasantly. 'I brought you something."

xxx

Three days had gone by since Potter had knocked the snot out of Severus Snape: or so he had been told. It is quite difficult to keep track of time while you're unconscious.

And nobody had bothered to visit him in the hospital wing. Not even Avery or Mulciber: Severus suspected they had found him too much of a coward to talk to anymore. Not that he minded too much, especially since his only guest had been Lily Evans.

"I brought you something, Sev.' she said quietly on the morning of his third day in the hospital wing. 'The other night, I went to try and collect your school books: I obviously did not expect to find anything, seeing as how James had set them on fire: but oddly enough, one of your books, this red one, was perfectly fine. I suspect it's a _Defence Against The Dark Arts _book, and that you may need it."

Severus sat platonically in his bed, face emotionless, making little movement. Lily rested the book on his bedside table. The two sat in silence: to be fair, though, when Severus' had approximately half of his brain knocked out of one of his ears, it was difficult to stimulate any worthy conversation.

Lily seemed to have a problem with conversation, as well. She did take Severus limp hand, and place it on her lap.

"Oh, Sev.' she said tearfully. 'I'm so sorry that this had to happen to you. I don't even know what came over James: he hasn't been acting like his usual self since the end of the OWL exams. And you definitely didn't deserve anything: you're so quiet, so loyal, so - "

Severus turned his head to face Lily: propping his self up onto his bandaged elbows, he leant over and kissed Lily Evans.

To his relief, she did not pull away. To his greater relief, she kissed him back.


	7. Chapter VII

The average kiss lasts for 12.6 seconds.

The average first kiss lasts even shorter.

The average first kiss of Severus Snape and Lily Evans lasted only 6.9 seconds.

For Severus, it was 6.9 seconds of true bliss, wonder and magic. His skin flushing, Severus dared himself to pinch his arm to see if he was actually awake, and not still under the influence of Madame Pomfrey's _Battered, Bruised and Broken Potion_.

And for Lily, who would have not given her best friend Severus a chance if he had tried to kiss her four days before, felt an instant spark. It was like a Butterbeer, or a package of Drooble's Best Blowing Gum. It was nothing like she had ever experienced before.

Severus, his lips tingling with excitement and slight confusion, pulled away. He sat back on his pillow, and looked straight up at the ceiling. No emotion on his face whatsoever, though his face was slightly flushed.

Lily, however, couldn't help but giggle lightly. Still failing to fully realize the significance of what had just happened, Severus moved his eyes towards her, keeping his head still upon the starchy white cotton of the pillowcase. She continued to giggle softly, and Severus refrained from inquiring the reason for this laughter. Instead, he just lay there, watching her, and taking in every second. He had never seen her as beautiful as she was at that very moment. It took her a few seconds before she realized that he was looking at her. She stopped.

"I'm sorry-' she said, cheeks flushing. 'I didn't mean to laugh, I-"

"Why were you laughing?' he inquired.

'It's just- well, no offense, but I never expected my first kiss to be with you Severus. I always imagined it to be with some dashing prince or something."

Severus decided that this was not the best time to tell her that his nickname for himself was the 'Half-Blood Prince'.

"Not that you're not attractive or anything-' she said, cheeks still a rosy pink that clashed with her red hair.' because you are- but- ohh." She paused in an awkward moment of self-frustration.

"I understand.' he said. He really wasn't surprised by this: it was better than he expected, in any case.

"Oh, Sev, _please_ don't take that as an insult.' she pleaded gently. 'I really didn't mean it that way."

Severus didn't know what to say: after having gone through so many years watching Lily and waiting for this moment, she could say that his greasy hair was a turn-off and that he had a terrible personality and he smelled absolutely disgusting, and he would still think she was incredibly beautiful.

So instead, he leant towards her face once again, but did not get the chance to kiss.

"Miss Evans,' said Mademoiselle Pomfrey at the foot of the hospital bed, a large round jug in her hands. 'Visiting hours are over. If you would please leave now to allow Mr Snape time to take his medicinal potion."

"Oh, yes.' Lily said, opening her eyes and moving back from Severus, who found himself in an awkward position and quickly lay back on his pillow. 'Sorry, Mademoiselle."

"It's quite alright, dear.' Mademoiselle Pomfrey answered dryly, handing Lily her sweater from the foot of Severus' bed, and adding quietly: 'Mr Snape will be out of the hospital tomorrow before the feast. You should have enough time to see him then."

"Thank you.' Lily said, taking her sweater. She pushed her hair back from her face, still pink from before. 'Bye, Sev."

"Bye, Lily."

xxx

As promised, Severus Snape was dismissed from hospital the following afternoon. Carrying the red book under his right arm, he blushed as Mademoiselle Pomfrey wished him a 'good summer' and told him to stay away from trouble. He mumbled a shaky "You, too" as he left the wing and awkwardly stumbled towards the staircases. Still drowsy from the medicinal potion that Mademoiselle Pomfrey quite possibly overdosed him on, he reached clumsily into the left pocket of his jeans.

Earlier that morning, Severus had woken up to a small scrap of paper sitting on his bedside table. Folded three times upon itself, the scrap had a faint smell of lavender and of newt toe. The message was simple:

_Sev-_

_ Meet in the courtyard before the feast. Sorry I can't be at the hospital._

And so that is why, for the first time since the day of the Defence Against The Dark Arts O.W.L., and since the day that had sent Severus to the hospital wing due to James Potter's actions for the second time, Severus Snape stepped out from the dark and stony hallway on the ground floor of Hogwarts, and into the soft sunshine of the courtyard, red book in tow.

A/N: Apologies for the delayed update. With summer coming, I'll have no homework or projects to focus on, meaning more fanfiction, _meaning_ I may actually get through this story. It's not near finished, though, there's still a long way to go. ;)

I want to wish a **very** Happy youtube-Birthday to Team Starkid, who on June 19th 2011 celebrated two years on youtube.


	8. Chapter VIII

The courtyard was empty. There was nobody within the perimeters of the area. The designated space for students to enjoy the great outdoors was unoccupied.

Severus sighed out of both discouragement and disbelief. He didn't believe that Lily would lead him out into the courtyard while everyone else filed into the Great Hall for the feast. She wasn't a conniving schemer, at least that he knew. And he was certain that the note was from her: the note. Perhaps he had misinterpreted the message? Maybe she meant meet her _after_ the feast? Severus pulled the note out from his left jean pocket from under his robes, and unfolded the paper.

_Sev-_

_Meet in the courtyard before the feast. Sorry I can't be at the hospital._

It clearly read "before the feast". And it was Lily's handwriting: Severus recognized the crooked 'T's and the slim 'S's all too well. No one else called him 'Sev', so there was that. Settling down on the fountain edge behind him, Severus brought the note up to his nose and sniffed.

Had this note been brought to him in his present time, the time where Severus Snape was a twenty year old unmarried man, destined to live his life alone in the house that he was born in, and had he been asked to whom the paper had been handled by, twenty year old Severus, although having not seen her for close to four years, would have instantly answered "Lily Evans". It was the sweetest smell he knew, the one he held closest to his heart.

However, the source of the smell, and, less creepily, of the note, was nowhere to be found. Judging on the loud roars of laughter and chatter emitting from the direction of the Great Hall, the fest had been served. Severus' stomach ached in envy.

"Oh, Sev, I'm so sorry!' At long last, Lily rushed out of a door on the opposing side of the courtyard. She reached Severus in record time, flinging her arms around his neck. 'I hope you weren't waiting long."

"Oh, no, it's fine, I just- What's he doing here?'

Severus dropped his arms from around Lily's waist, and automatically moved his hand to his wand. Among all the threats that he imagined were coming his way, he couldn't help notice that this was the first time that he'd ever seen Remus Lupin by himself, no Potter or Black to trail, no Pettigrew to lead.

"Relax, Sev,' said Lily, guiding his arm away from his wand inside his robes, though Severus struggled against her. 'Remus and I were in the dungeons talking with Professor Slughorn about taking Potions next year."

Severus couldn't believe that a good friend of Potter's and of Black's would be without an ulterior motive. He couldn't even imagine Lupin as taking Advanced Potions.

"Is Lupin alone?' he asked Lily, fingers again wrapped tightly around the handle of his wand.

"I am, and I'm just leaving, actually.' announced Remus, who had stopped in the doorway when he saw Severus. 'Good seeing you, Severus."

He left hastily, arms at his side, robe billowing behind him in his hurry. Lily followed him with her eyes, arm now resting on Severus'. He, however, did not watch as Lupin left. Instead, Severus stared down at the ground, hair falling into his face. A feeling of irritation arose.

"Does- did you tell Lup- I mean, Remus- about us?' he asked, still irritated but too nervy to confront Lily. 'Because you know he's good friends with Potter, and with Black."

"Oh, no, no.' she said, pulling his downward chin towards her. 'He doesn't suspect a thing. And don't you worry about James Potter or his friend Sirius, because there's no way that I'd let them get to you." She kissed the corner of his mouth, drawing his attention.

"Oh, good.' he said, losing all senses of irritation. ' So- mmm,' he tried to continue, but he found talking was quite hard when he was being kissed on the mouth. 'Lily- Lily…'

"What is it, Sev?' she said softly, fingers still under his chin.

"Is there anything you wanted to ask me before the Great Feast?' he queried quietly. Her eyes opened wide, and she dropped her hands.

"Oh, shoot, the Great Feast. We're late!' she cried. 'Can you imagine what they'll say when we come in late together?"

Severus had an idea, though he really wouldn't care what "they" would say, because whatever "they'd" say was probably true.

"Severus, let's go!"

xxx

The Feast had barely started once Severus and Lily arrived. Ravenclaw banners hung proudly from the ceiling, meaning that the House Cup must have been given out earlier in the evening.

"What happened to you, Severus?' asked Avery, in the midst of a large amount of Yorkshire Pudding. 'We 'aven't seen you all day."

"More like all week.' added Mulciber, mouth full of sprouts and ham. 'It's like you was in the hospital wing or somethin'."

"Yeah, you never did show up that night in the Forest.' Avery complained, eyes narrowing at Severus. 'There something that you're not telling us, Snape?"

But Severus did not know whether there was something that he was not telling Avery and Mulciber: well, by all accounts he _was_ keeping his relationship with Lily Evans a secret, but he was barely paying any attention to the two beefy boys. His attention was drawn towards Lily Evans across the Hall, looking as beautiful as he always saw her. He was happy to see that Potter and his group were nowhere near her, and that Potter sat looking miserable towards the front of the Hall near the Staff table.

"Hey, Snape!' Avery failed at his attempt to catch Severus' attention. 'Look at him, Mulciber, not even eatin' his food. Something's up with him, and I don't think he's thinking about no Dark Arts, either."

Severus, only semi-paying attention to his seating companions, mumbled something along the lines of "Oh, Dark Arts, yeah, cool", took a large bite of the chicken thigh sitting on his plate, swallowed, and took a large sip of the pumpkin juice in his goblet. He figured that if he continued to watch Lily, he would most likely be spotted, and would be accused as a creeper, because no one would ever suspect that Lily Evans would fall for Severus Snape: even Severus himself was beginning to feel as if she really had not.

xxx

"Severus Snape is looking at you, Lily.' Mary announced, taking a dainty sip of pumpkin juice out of the heavy golden goblet. 'What's his deal anyways?"

Lily was staring back over at Severus, who had just looked down at his plate, narrowly averting catching Lily's gaze. She snapped quickly back to reality.

"What do you mean, what's his deal?' she snapped. 'Sev doesn't have a deal."

"Jesus, calm down Lillian.' said Mary, taken aback. 'You don't have to defend him, I wasn't attacking or anything."

Still fuming, Lily took a spoonful of the mashed potatoes. True, Mary wasn't attacking Severus, but Lily still felt more defensive of him than she ever felt before.


End file.
